"You don't know how strong you have to be until being strong is the only option you have."
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| Summer Hydrangeas |
Since school started, and I have to teach all day instead of stay home and dawdle around, I have had a hard time finding time to get everything done. It's not easy.
Owning five acres, growing a garden which peaks the first week of school when life is at warp speed and energy levels are somewhere that's not obtainable by me, can bring you to your knees.
A year ago, September 2018, I was not even a month out of radiation treatment for breast cancer, and was still undergoing targeted chemotherapy. This chemo didn't make me lose my hair or want to throw up and wasn't as harsh, I was still reeling from the four months that were. Topped with two surgeries and radiation that burnt the entire insides of my left breast, armpit and chest wall, I could barely put one foot in front of the other.
I had to take it easy.
This year, targeted chemo was seven months in the rear view mirror and my breast finally didn't have a huge red box around it, burnt and solid with pissed-off-edness.
I thought I could do it all.
I clearly cannot.
So I am taking a page out of 2018 and accepting that that cannot get done when I want it.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
And that's okay.
Owning five acres, growing a garden which peaks the first week of school when life is at warp speed and energy levels are somewhere that's not obtainable by me, can bring you to your knees.
A year ago, September 2018, I was not even a month out of radiation treatment for breast cancer, and was still undergoing targeted chemotherapy. This chemo didn't make me lose my hair or want to throw up and wasn't as harsh, I was still reeling from the four months that were. Topped with two surgeries and radiation that burnt the entire insides of my left breast, armpit and chest wall, I could barely put one foot in front of the other.
I had to take it easy.
This year, targeted chemo was seven months in the rear view mirror and my breast finally didn't have a huge red box around it, burnt and solid with pissed-off-edness.
I thought I could do it all.
I clearly cannot.
So I am taking a page out of 2018 and accepting that that cannot get done when I want it.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
And that's okay.